In due course, Nina found her life partner and tied the knot. Her husband worked in Delhi, and she was fortunate to secure a transfer to the same city. Their union was the culmination of a love story that had its roots in their college days, although she had kept this a secret and we got a shock when, one fine morning she disclosed about her impending marriage. Once she settled in Delhi, our official phones facilitated occasional contact. Due to my frequent visits to Delhi for project-related matters, we typically met almost every month, aligning with my schedule in the city.
We had a favorite South Indian restaurant where we often enjoyed lunch. Nina, however, had a peculiar penchant for saree shopping, a task her husband found less than appealing. Despite my reluctance, she would drag me along, and I would inevitably find myself an unwitting participant. About a year later, it was my turn to embark on the journey of marriage. I was transferred to an interior project where telecommunication facilities were not available.
My life gradually became very hectic as the project work progressed with a tough timeline , and our interactions became infrequent. Her son, who was around 3 to 4 years old at the time and started going to school,when I left HQ Shillong for the project, . Despite the physical distance, the essence of our enduring friendship remained intact, patiently waiting for the next opportunity to rekindle the connection that had withstood the test of time and circumstances.
The days continued to pass, and my involvement in the project deepened as the completion deadline drew near. Leaving the project was becoming increasingly challenging, and even going home became a rare occurrence, I could visit my house, only after several months. My contact with Nina had dwindled to nearly nothing for almost a year, until the project was commissioned, and I finally managed to visit my family in Golaghat the nearby township from my project. During this period, we managed to get a telephone connection at my home in Golaghat. I used this new connection to call Nina a few times. The power station where I was stationed also acquired a telephone line, but it was prone to frequent outages. Nonetheless, we cherished the occasional moments when we could talk.
Soon, I was transferred back to Shillong, and after some difficulty, I got a small house on rent. However, my family remained in Golaghat. At this point, my office boss attempted to assign me work, but my colleagues who were my friends consistently thwarted his efforts, perhaps acting out of their special brand of friendship, that prevented my boss from redistributing the responsibilities. During this period, I felt like a persona non-grata. My boss was genuinely a kind and soft-spoken person but was not a leader who preferred maintaining the status quo rather than making decisions that might displease anyone. He often encouraged me to stay at home, with my family telling me that I had worked tirelessly on the most difficult project for several years and need some good time. The actual reason for my marginalization was clear to me. Some close friends and officers of my rank in the office were hesitant to share their responsibilities, as it might lead to their transfers from Shillong to remote locations. My boss, not inclined to wield his authority, chose not to displease them. This arrangement made me happy as it had allowed me to spend more time with my family without officially taking leave. My boss seemed relieved when I didn’t visit his chamber, given him relieve from the unease when I happens to visit his chamber.So my absence from station is a win win situation for me and him both and also given me a opportunity to understand more of the behaviour of friends . When someones interest is at stake , friendship is coming much below than the self interest, this is clearly deciferable . So long, ones interest is not affected , we are good friends.
This experience reinforced the lesson that power and friendship often don’t coexist harmoniously. The external demeanor people project themselves can be quite different from their internal motivations and compulsions. What someone holds in their mind may sharply in contrast with their external dealings with a lovely smile. When we initially joined the corporation, we were proud of the camaraderie and cooperation among our batch, but over time, as we climbed the corporate ladder, we observed a transformation. Friendship became an decipherable code,self is always first and the complexities of human behavior are revealing gradually with time. This was my another lesson on learning friendship which I did not realised earlier and experience taught me a tough lesson.
During my time in Shillong after I joined there,for the first time, I stayed for a long period span of nearly eight years, I was retained against my wishes, despite my repeated requests for a change. This period of stay, taught me invaluable lessons. Sitting at the headquarters did little to boost my confidence in making independent decisions as required to be done by project officers. My work kept me so occupied that I had little time for anything else without any supporting hand being provided after a lot of requests and reporting directly to the Chief.
During this period, six lists for foreign training opportunities were released for officials at my level. With substantial daily allowances in Dollars. I was informed that my name appeared on the first list, but to my disappointment, the sixth list was also published, and my name was absent from all of them. Later, I discovered that some of my friends had played an important role in this which can be very easily understandable as when own interest comes , who is a friend ? Eventually,one day, my Director called me to his office, expressed regret, and mentioned a mistake in the lists. He assured me that I would be sent for foreign training against another project which is due in the coming months. However, six more lists were released for that project too, and my name did not appear on any of them. I felt hurt, but I chose not to confront anyone or seek recourse through official channels. Instead, I silently believed that everything occurred according to divine will. This allowed me to find solace, even though a lingering sense of betrayal remained.Here also someone closed to me played his role.Flattering is liked by all specifically those who are incompetent or have a vested interest or indebted to someone for something or other . Expecting justice from such people are meaningless.
Rajat chandra sarmah
Mail ID : rajatchandrasarmah@gmail.com
musingofrajat.wordpress.com 